Scientists are saying that in the future we will be able to have sex with robots. I tried that once. It was horrible. Right in the middle I had to call tech support. -- David Letterman
If you rest, you rust. -- Helen Hayes
When I was a kid I said to my Father one afternoon, "Will you take me to the zoo?" He answered, "If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you." -- Jerry Lewis
Why attack God? He may be as miserable as we are. -- Erik Satie
There is definitely life after oat bran. All our nation has to show after years of that is diarrhea. -- Julia Child
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